It’s been some time since the last blog. I have no excuse. It’s not like I’ve been preoccupied but do remember that there isn’t exactly a whole lot to write about over here. The pandemic has evolved in Victoria (aka the bin of Australia) in a very different way to the rest of the country. While a lot has been changing with the situation, nothing really has actually occurred. It’s like watching the plot to The Phantom Menace unravel in real life. Experts have informed us predictive modelling is suggesting that the lifespan of our couch will exponentially reduce and unfortunately, the Tik Tok videos and fitness challenges are unable to outlast the virus either. It’s also good to see that we moved to Victoria for the sport which subsequently decided to up and leave to Queensland. Anyway, without anything else to write about, I’ll provide a succinct summary of our experience for the last half a year. Although for our interstate friends, I understand if your too busy attending “events” to read this.
Resurfacing
Emerging from the first lockdown with the rest of Australia was like waking to the smell of your partner cooking bacon. Hopeful, glorious and mouth watering. Face to face interaction had never been so sweet. However, hindsight tells me I wasted those 10–12 days. How could we have been so foolish. There were moments that I actually spent inside my house, like an idiot. But we were just kids back then, what did we know.
Anarchy
After tasting freedom for a moment, Victoria oddly decided that this wasn’t exactly palatable for us. A better option would be to briefly descend into a period of anarchic rule resembling something similar to the Hunger Games. Each district was pitted against each other as our freedom and privileges were decided by which side of the tracks we lived on. Ash and I live in one of the naughty suburbs so we were slapped with a detention and told to sit inside while we watch our friends through the classroom window laugh and play in the sunshine. The residents of 3031 were ambushed as our neighbourhood was transformed into a quarantine zone. Police presence increased, temporary testing sites were erected and we queued for days to get our mandatory test. The only thing missing were giant walls keeping the hoards of infected in. Luckily, this period of time didn’t last too long. Everyone else was soon to be dragged down to our level.
Lockdown 2.0
As it turns out, detention for the naughty kids wasn’t good enough to teach us a lesson and so the lockdown 2.0 hammer was dropped and this one was bigger and badder than the first. One hour of outside time was permitted (much like prison except not as good because we couldn’t congregate with more than one other person) and an evening curfew was also established. This was particularly beneficial as we know COVID-19 prefers to spread in the dark. All shops were closed except for food and pharmacies. A big blow to Ash’s morale without her weekly trip to K-mart. Additionally, only one person can go to the shops from a household. Again, tough on Ash who placed a lot of trust in my decision making as I wander the isles looking for dinner.
Ash and I actually consider ourselves lucky as we managed to move out of our one bedroom apartment just before the second lockdown hit. This change of scenery did wonders for our mental health and the extra space we’ve acquired didn’t go amiss either. More space means longer cleaning time. And we’ve got plenty of that to kill.
The other big addition to Lockdown 2.0 is the mask wearing. Except for Ash, I haven’t seen the face of another human in weeks. The lack of non-verbal communication makes the already onerous task of making small talk with the local barista all the more challenging. Long walks will transform your face into a sweaty mess. It’s also highly advised that you take a breath mint or brush your teeth before a long stint in a mask. And remember to pull your mask down before taking a sip of hot coffee…please.
Lockdown extension
The hopeful exit from Lockdown 2.0 has come and gone. We’re at about 8 weeks and counting with this one. I’ve never missed commuting to work this much before. I miss having a desk and I miss the awkward greetings with co-workers as we pass in the hall. Now that Ash and I work side by side, she really sees how much liberty I take in my title as a “student”. Consequentially, she puts me to shame with her phenomenal work ethic as “breadwinner”. The days are dragging even longer than my hair has grown (and was subsequently chopped roughly with kitchen scissors). I think living on top of each other literally 24/7 is the ultimate test for a marriage, and I’m happy to report we’re passing with flying colours… at least I think so as I’m yet to be smothered in my sleep.
I wish I could say that I’ve been wildly productive during this time, reading, learning new skills and picking up hobbies. But the longevity of the situation has definitely worn us down. Any resemblance of an exercise routine has been lost to de-motivation. The books seem to get less and less interesting and TV shows are only doing like 8–10 seasons. What’s the deal with that? (I’ve recently begun Simpons at S1E1 to circumvent this.) The well of creativity on the six-string has dried up and the evenings follow a typical pattern of dinner followed by sulking. The zoom fatigue hits extra hard too when it’s this deep into the game without other human beings to freshen your reality.
But there are some positives too. It took a global pandemic for Ash to let me buy a PlayStation. If you want to see a friend, you’ve got to get your sneakers on and work on your cardiovascular health to do so - as much as I miss cheersing a frothie in a dank pub the extra sun has been soul-warming. Also a big shout out to our neighbours who we regularly share a beer with over the fence. It’s weird the coping strategies we’ve developed.
So as the city of Melbourne remains in hibernation through what has been a long and miserable winter, spare a thought for you pals who are missing you all more than ever before. Go and lift a dumbell for us. Or at least a pint.
Here’s to the swift end of a long pandemic. Cheers.
Oh and we got a dog.
